Well, how a week changes everything. I have started this blog about 4 times, and I had to close out after 2 or 3 sentences. It's my head. I've been angry, and what I've written could be taken the wrong way. Even though this is my blog, I have to think of other people. So, I actually started a journal, and I'm writing it down on paper with a pen. So old school and retro. But I can say what I want and its mine.
I lost a good friend this week. My head has finally wrapped around it. I was discussing it this afternoon, and I realized, that I was in a good place. I think the anger is gone. I realize that it might come back, but overall spending the weekend taking care of myself has helped.
In a nutshell, I lost Heather. She was a good girl. I appreciated her as I felt she appreciated me. I would tell her some of the idiot things I have done, and she wouldn't judge. And I knew, if anyone ever hurt me, she would be one of the first ones to kick their ass.
I was trying to remember the last conversation I had with her. Was it about our lives and our futures? No. Was it about her son? No. Was it about my job? No.
It was about oral sex. Seriously, I think one of the last things I ever said to her was "He was sleeping with about 5-10 women and living a certain lifestyle, and I didn't want that lifestyle in my mouth." Seriously, besides saying goodbye and forcing a cupcake on her, that was the last real thing I said.
I gave her a laugh. It wasn't anything deep, but in my very unclassy way, I made her smile. I'm good with that.
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